Seems to be my former self. I sat here reading it and felt so so so sad. I didn’t seem as reserved as I find myself lately. I sat here reading my old posts and I laughed. I laughed at my stories, I laughed at the pictures I posted and memories that I wrote down. I was so much less injured as I find myself tonight.
Maybe it’s because I didn’t have anyone I thought would read it and judge me, or talk about me and laugh at what I have to say. Now, I have gathered more people who I feel might read what I have to say and laugh.
I seemed so light hearted back then. I didn’t feel as alone as I do now.
Now, I have people who don’t like me. I am sure I did then but I didn’t seem to notice or care. I have lost a few friends since then. And no matter what anyone says, I am so very sad and hurt. I have taken this last year to sort things out and heal.
But finding these writings has opened up a wound.
I want to be the person who isn’t afraid to be funny again and write about what I need to write about because I find it therapeutic and I maybe just one person can relate to me and feel better. I have been afraid to put things out there because I haven’t wanted people to see my hurts, vulnerability, victories and the things that make me happy.
I am done being intimidated!
I am writing again because it’s part of my therapy and yes, I see a therapist! Maybe you should also! ;)
I want to not give a damn again and just feel free to share and write how I feel! So here I go!
It’s 1:30am and I should be asleep but I can’t sleep because I am determined to get back to who I really am. I am going to write and I hope that it touches someone.
So there…I am making my declaration, and if you choose to be part of my journey I am grateful!
One…two…three…jump!!!
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